Just The Davis Family Three, For Now...

This week has been one of heartache for our family as we found out that we will not be welcoming a new little one as we had expected. Our ultrasound on Tuesday confirmed my earlier fears of not hearing a heartbeat at my previous doctor's appointment. At 18 weeks along we had been told that we could possibly find out the sex of our baby but were instead hit with the news that our baby was not alive.

It was very difficult for me to understand why I was still feeling very pregnant, growing a baby bump, and had not had any physical signs that something was wrong. We have received information that has helped to explain my condition but I will spare you the details. We do believe this is a condition called a 'partial molar pregnancy.' I am very grateful to the doctor who did my ultrasound as he made every effort to get us medical information, spent time talking with us, and helped provide ultrasound guidance at my D&C procedure on Thursday.

We have been on a roller coaster ride of emotion from the time we received the news through the subsequent surgery. It is hard to gain perspective when you feel that the righteous desires and prayers of your heart have not been answered as you had hoped and expected that they would.

But I am so very grateful for the knowledge that I have of the gospel of Jesus Christ that helps strengthen me in my darkest moments, and there have been many this past week. I am grateful for a loving husband and best friend who was there to hold my hand, cry with me, and offer me words of strength and love. We are grateful for the many prayers of friends and family in my behalf and for the numerous acts of service - flowers, dinner, words of kindness. I am also grateful for the many good nurses and doctors that took care of me during my time in the hospital.

I have found the words of Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin especially comforting at this time:

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude." (Joseph B. Wirthlin, “Come What May, and Love It,” Ensign, Nov 2008, 26–28)

While we will not be growing from a family of three to a family of four as soon as we had hoped, we look forward to the promise of more children in the future. And of course we feel great joy as we continue to watch Spencer grow and be a happy, healthy, almost two year old. Our family has truly been blessed.